Best Worst Video Game Movies - "Mortal Kombat: Annihilation"

If you're watching a video game movie expecting anything but an embarrassing amount of cheese, you are most likely doing it wrong. While the release of "Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time" has been a considerable improvement over past adaptations in the eyes of many, the mere mention of video game movies is still seen, in many circles, as the terminal Monkey's Paw: a twisted aberration of fate.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                       

But although there are movies that would traditionally be considered better than the ones listed below in a traditional sense, I am one of those to embrace the cheese; let's be fair: the concept of a video game movie adaptation is innately the premise of a disaster scenario.

Without further ado, here are the Best Worst Video Games Movies.

James Remar now plays Raiden after Lambert's resignation.

Mortal Kombat: Annihilation (1997)

Following the events of the box-office success, "Mortal Kombat," released two years prior, Mortal Kombat Annihilation picks up exactly after the first movie's cliffhanger. A flashback explains the events of the first movie and shortly after introduces the villainous cast of the second and third iteration - Shao Khan, Sindel, Rain, Sheeva, Motaro, and Ermac - and a force of shirtless, unarmed ninja grunts. An embarrassing cast reveal ensues - Shao Khan's edgy take on the account of creation, Sindel's botched line-reading, Motaro's horse face, and Sheeva's awkward gesticulation. Raiden fisticuffs Shao Khan in a too — for words choreographed scene. Caught in the crossfire, Johnny Cage sacrifices himself to save Sonya Blade, once again the damsel-in-distress, forcing the Earthrealm Warriors into retreat.

The villainous cast of this entry is far more Toasty than its predecessor.

Conveniently, our heroes end up retreating to the Wat Temple's hamster ball transit system, the heroes spread in three groups - to consult the Elder Gods, to find Nightwolf, and recruit the special forces cyborg, Jax. Everybody splits up to conveniently find whoever it is they are looking for.
An unarmored Shao Khan, played by Brian Thompson, reveals his "glorious!" plan to merge the realms to his father... Shinnok? - and for the rest of the movie foregoes his iconic armor to portray a lame, bald musclehead. By far the most disappointing part of this movie.

A portal would have worked just fine.

The movie devolves into a plethora of decently choreographed fights, Sub-Zero joins Liu Kang to inevitably face off against Scorpion, who kidnaps Kitana; the both of them disappear from the movie altogether, leaving even Liu Kang confused. Meanwhile, Jax and Sonya face Cyrax, positively, both of these fight scenes were, surprisingly, the highlight of the movie.

Notably, thanks to Keith Cooke's short-lived performance as Sub-Zero.

Liu Kang meets with Nightwolf in the middle of nowhere, gets drugged, and encounters Jade. Instant sexual tension ensues between the two strangers, and Jade joins Liu Kang after attempting to brutally murder him - you know, as a test. Liu Kang discovers the truth about his "animality" in this acid trip. This is as much character development as we get from this movie, but I'll take it.

The "Animality" is a reference to the MK3 Fatality, which will come into play later.

The villains gather around a roundtable shaped like the Mortal Kombat logo, and embarrassing in-fights ensue between the two worst actors in this movie, Sheeva and Motaro. Shao Khan pulls the banhammer on Scorpion for his failure to defeat Liu Kang and designates Sindel as his new general, to nobody's surprise and everybody's indifference. Meanwhile, Raiden meets with the "Elder Gods"; he is asked about his feelings towards the mortals, who the Elder Gods claim are assholes. He goes for a haircut instead.

"So, bad news, the Elder Gods are useless, but I went for a slick blonde look with my barber" 

More fight scenes; at this point, I've turned off my brain to prevent further neuronal death. Liu Kang falls into an obvious trap, warned by Kitana, does not care, and faces off against Baraka; he frees Kitana. Sheeva pops up, is this her chance to shine? Done dirty, she is crushed by Kitana's cage in a matter of seconds, and we're just glad we don't have to see the overacting of whoever is portraying her anymore.

Oh yeah, there's this thing... I'm not too sure what it is, but it's useless.

After more hogwash, the crew meets up for the final showdown against Shao Khan. I am visibly tired of this review. So, a staring contest breaks out. Shao Khan swiftly defeats Raiden, who is revealed to be his brother in a "Luke, I am your father" reunion. Liu Kang and Shao Khan release their "animality" and both transform into CGI dragons. Obviously, what this movie needed was a kaiju fight.

There's awful CGI - Mortal Kombat meets Godzilla.

As the CGI is too much for the construct of reality to handle, the Elder Gods appear to break down the awful sequence, banishing Shinnok to the Tetris dimension. Liu Kang and Shao Khan face off in "Mortal Kombat" to decide the fate of Earthrealm. This is where the iconic techno theme kicks in, and we see some good action from Robin Shou. Shao Khan is defeated by a beatdown, Shinnok is banished to the Tetris dimension, and the merging of Earthrealm is avoided. As Shinnok is defeated, Raiden is granted elder godhood by the remaining Elder God, and becomes an asshole himself.

Everything returns to normal, KMFDM, credit rolls.

Overall, this movie makes no sense whatsoever, and the direction it took couldn't have been worse. However, the over-the-top, cheesy action scenes coupled with their tacky techno soundtracks make it worthwhile for those who can see the humour in it. There's no doubt in my mind that I would ever subject myself to this movie again. I would much rather watch the somewhat superior first iteration.